Well, then I suppose that we are lost again? Seriously, Alex what is the matter with you? Why can't we just ask for directions? Why can't you ever get things right? I swear if my father hadn't have gotten you that job we'd be living in a town car! What seems to be the matter with you?
Shut up Trudy
Keep your voice down Alyssa and Allen are asleep young kids need their rest!
We were riding in the back seat of an old 1991 Lincoln the back moved like the waves of cement, bump after bump. Pothole after pothole. We were driving from California to Utah, we were gonna spend a few days in Nevada at a second cousin's house or something.
My sister was asleep but we were small enough for both of us to fit back there. My other sister was with uncle tom, my mom's brother in Utah. She was older then the two of us, it's something my parents did. I'd gotten sent away the least, being a boy has its advantages. My parents traveled a lot and we didn't always have a lot of money so I think it was just easier for them to send off one of us every so often.
My uncle was a good man, he neglected us a little and smelled of beer and cigarettes. He touched my older sister once when we were on vacation camping at a lake and I grabbed a frying pan, stood in front of him and growled.
I think I peed myself but he never looked that direction again. I ended up smelling for a day, I was exceptionally sad and I don't remember very much of it but I couldn't stand to see that look on her face ever again. A seven-year-old with a frying pan doesn't seem very scary but I think he understood it was wrong and he never looked at Jenny that way again.
Jenny's dad ran off when she was three, he went out for a twelve-pack and I suppose he found it? They never saw him again, her mom was 23 at the time. We were half-siblings but I loved her just as much, often more. When I turned she was putting something down, buttoning her shirt. It had a strange handle, I saw silver and ivory on it. I'm not sure what it was but something in me told me it was probably the reason my uncle backed off.
She reached for me and hugged me, it didn't seem to matter I smelled bad. She took my face with both hands and I saw that tears started coming down her face.
Why would you do that!?
The shrill in her voice sent a cold chill down my spine. And I started to cry too, I tried to hold it in but I wasn't able too anymore. Grandpa always said boys mustn't cry, that's for girls and if you have to do it where no one can see he also said...
Courage isn't not being afraid it's doing what you feel is right in spite of it. My voice I hardly recognized it, it was shakey quiet and unpleasant.
I... I didn't know what to do when he started at you. Just once I'd made up my mind I'd Have RathEr D.. D... DiEd then let *sobbb him touch you.
She gave me a weak smile and pressed me into her breast. I could feel her purple blouse soaking up my tears. She wasn't afraid of him anymore.
I noticed the look of horror on her face as I fell back from her comforting embrace. Everything quickly going dark, now just shadows. There felt to be something in my bac...
I'd disappeared, it was like falling into a pool of warm water and then there was nothing. I'd never felt the world so quiet and dark, my senses they weren't functioning. There wasn't light, nor could I hear a sound, nothing was touching me. Even when I slept there was something, a sort of feeling or knowledge that the world was still there...
I don't know how long I was gone, when I started coming to it was with a clawing at my right arm a scratching which I resisted unknowingly. My mind had started to turn back on, I'd heard a faint voice gasping for air as I'd felt my body bouncing up and down.
When I finally managed to open my eyes there was a man there, scruffy-looking with me in his arms. He was gasping for air and desperately letting out small sounds between each frantic breath. Joena, who was Joena? Why was he saying that name? My mind went blank again that was as much energy as I'd had.
The scratching returned...
It was a woman's voice this time, calm and flat.
This one's a fighter, hold him down while I get this I. V. In or there won't be anything left of him before we get to the hospital.
I was laying on my face but at that, I realized I was in a moving vehicle of some sort with loud shrill noises. I let myself relax and left again.
I can't tell you what it was about the darkness that made me wish I could stay forever but there was something in it. The loss and lack of everything, all those things I'd come to expect and rely on. The ground, being pulled down, the feel of my skin, things I'd never thought of before.
The parts of life that I take for granted. Yet somehow I was still there in all of that darkness. Though I didn't feel like me, I think souls are meant to be whole and mine was somehow fractured the most prevalent memory I have in that place is a longing for something... Someone.
It felt like I could let go and stay in that place, calm peaceful and never have to worry or fear again but I suppose there was a longing for someone. Or maybe she was longing for me? It wasn't a voice, just a feeling. Something I cannot explain or hope to understand, somewhere in a not too far off distance I felt like I belonged.
Joena?! Joena! Wake up please wake up!
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